‘South Park’ Mocks a Puppy-Shooting Kristi Noem and JD Vance Offers to Rub Baby Oil on Satan In Wild New Episode

'South Park'
Paramount

In the second episode of “South Park” Season 27, United States Secretary of Homeland Security Kristi Noem leads ICE in a raid on the local production of “Dora the Explorer Live!”

After losing his job as counselor of South Park Elementary, Mr. Mackey is out of options to make his monthly “nut,” which adds up to $8,000 a month. His banker suggests he join ICE, which offers a “$100,000 salary” and a “$50,000 signing bonus.”

After some brief deliberation, Mackey heads to ICE HQ. They let him join without a second thought and shuffle him into a room for an orientation video featuring none Noem, who is now their leader.

“Welcome to the team, recruits. I’m Kristi Noem, head of Homeland Security,” she says. “A few years ago, I had to put my puppy down by shooting it in the face, because sometimes doing what’s important means doing what’s hard.” The video then hard cuts to Noem jumping out of an ICE vehicle and gunning down an innocent puppy in the street.

“Now, we’ll ask the same determination of you. Because detaining and questioning people is never easy,” she adds, before the video cuts to Noem shooting another puppy.

After his orientation, Mackey goes to raid a location “that might be filled with Illegals”: a local production of “Dora the Explorer Live!” As Mackey and Noem bust into the theater, the audience scrambles in panic.

Noem tries to calm the crowd. “We’re just here for questioning. Cooperate, and nothing bad– holy shit!” Noem screams, before spotting a service dog in the crowd and shooting it.

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Mackey does such a good job with ICE that Noem sends him to Mar-a-Lago, where Donald Trump is waiting with a toddler-sized JD Vance. After Trump names Mackey the new head of Homeland Security, he brings the former school counselor to his room for a threesome with himself and Satan. The babyfied Vance offers to lend a hand, “Would you like me to apply the baby oil to Satan’s asshole, boss?”

Even before it was released, ICE took notice of Wednesday’s show. The X account for the United States Department of Homeland Security used a still from the episode’s teaser to promote ICE’s website, which includes application portals for various agency roles like criminal investigator and deportation officer. The official “South Park” X account responded to the post by writing, “Wait, so we ARE relevant? #eatabagofdicks.”

The retort from “South Park” references the White House’s response to the Season 27 premiere, in which they claimed the show “hasn’t been relevant for 20 years.”

“The Left’s hypocrisy truly has no end – for years they have come after ‘South Park’ for what they labeled as ‘offense’ content, but suddenly they are praising the show,” White House spokesperson Taylor Rogers said in a statement to Variety following the Season 27 premiere. “Just like the creators of ‘South Park,’ the Left has no authentic or original content, which is why their popularity continues to hit record lows.”

From Variety US