On Wednesday night’s episode of “The Late Show,” Stephen Colbert was on the other end of “The Colbert Questionnaire,” and he had an all-star lineup of guests to deliver the questions.
Journalist John Dickerson introduced each guest as they appeared, and first up to bat was Billy Crystal. He asked Colbert, “What is the best sandwich?”
While “a tomato sandwich” was Colbert’s favourite summertime snack, he added, “The rest of the year, wherever you are, hot pastrami on rye with a little bit of mustard, and if the guy behind the counter is willing, little coleslaw. And if it’s not kosher deli, I’ll take a little muenster on there.”
Later came Josh Brolin, who asked Colbert, “What’s the scariest animal?” Colbert answered, “The scariest animal to me is a trapdoor spider. Little sand, nothing wrong. They come out, and they pull you back in. Here’s the part that’s even scarier than that, Josh Brolin. A scientist named a trapdoor spider after me.”
Before leaving, Brolin gifted Colbert a ship in a bottle. It was engraved with the phrase, “May you always glide through life’s sometime tulutous waters.”
Martha Stewart followed Brolin. She asked Colbert if he preferred apples or oranges. Colbert responded, “You can’t put peanut butter on an orange. So I’m going to risk the wrath of the seraphim and say I will bite the apple.”
Mark Hamill came next. He asked Colbert, “Have you ever asked someone else for their autograph?” Colbert admitted he once asked Steve Martin for his signature when he came on “The Colbert Report.”
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“As part of it, we were talking about a painting, and we added to the painting a little cutout of Steve’s head,” Colbert recalled. “After the show was over, I said, ‘Would you mind signing this?’ He signed across the top of his face, and I had it framed.”
A bit later, Ben Stiller joined the show to ask Colbert about his earliest memory. Colbert said it was from his early childhood in Washington, D.C.
“I was born in Washington, D.C.,” Colbert said. “I remember, I have a memory of my mom on a short ladder with her hair in a little scarf. Either painting the bedroom brown, and it was blue, or it was blue, and she was painting it brown.”
Aubrey Plaza came next. She asked Colbert to pick cats or dogs. Colbert gave a one-word answer: “Dogs.”
Robert De Niro came shortly after. The two-time Oscar winner asked Colbert, “What number am I thinking of?” Colbert guessed three. De Niro quipped back, “Okay. Cause I thought it would’ve been 2.5 million. That’s the number of Epstein files Trump still hasn’t released.”
Other guest stars included Weird Al Yankovic, Jim Gaffigan, Tiffany Haddish, Colbert’s wife Evelyn, Amy Sedaris, James Taylor and Jeff Daniels.
The final episode of “The Late Show” premieres Thursday, May 21. Guests for the series finale have remained under wraps.
From Variety US